When we feel lonely our first inclination is to fill our life with people.
While it can offer relief from loneliness in the short term, it can actually do the exact opposite.
Why? Because by doing so we may be adding a layer to cover up a deep wound.
This is something I did when I lived in New England a few years back. I thought my loneliness at the time was the result of not having my kind of people around.
I went out. I socialized. I made myself busy. But It was all a cover up to how painfully lost I was.
If I just allowed myself to stay with my loneliness, stay with the pain and look at it for what it really was, I could probably save myself a year of disconnection.
I learned that rather than being afraid of our inner pains and avoid them at all cost, it's best to expose them.
Rather than covering up with with some external solution, let them transform us.
Because behind any pain there's a gift of growth. And behind every feeling of loneliness hides the gift of reconnecting with self.
Recently a friend asked me how come I don't feel lonely while travelling alone.
But I do feel lonely at times. It's just that I don't run away from it anymore. And because I don't run from it, it does not run my life.
Loneliness is not the core problem.
Constantly running away from it is.
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Tal Gur is a location independent entrepreneur, author, and impact investor. After trading his daily grind for a life of his own daring design, he spent a decade pursuing 100 major life goals around the globe. His most recent book and bestseller, The Art of Fully Living - 1 Man, 10 Years, 100 Life Goals Around the World, has set the stage for his new mission: elevating society to its abundance potential.